Tuesday, August 23, 2011


I sometimes wonder if my boys really know just how lucky they are
to come home to a mother every afternoon?
Forget all the PC correct reactions we are expected to come out with
Does it really benefit them, enhance their quality of life? 
More than all the expensive after school stuff like sports, guitar lessons etc?
We are not poor and I would never complain about how fortunate I am to be able to have a choice. Sometimes its ridiculous but we get by on one wage but at what sacrifice.
Nothing changes here we cant afford to renovate or fix things.
7 years after moving in we still have our bright yellow wood panelled kitchen
the taps in the bathrooms have had a dozen husband changed washers but still need replacing, the side fence has surpassed all our expectations and is still falling down the roof still has a leak
that we pretend is magically going to fix itself.

Is it really worth all those high and mighty principles
I carried about before we got married about staying home for the kids. Or do I find myself
questioning things cause one of a dinosaur bred of mum who stays at home occasionally venturing out 
only to feel awkward in amongst all our career driven/money earning peers.
I was a latch key kid and I turned out okay ...right?! 

oh here come my whirling dervishes now!!! Its an all familiar sound...
They are probably a block away but I can hear their voices yelling calling out goodbyes and then their footstep getting closer until they begin to thunder! I here the frantic competition to the door.
The sound of lunch boxes bouncing up and down the herd of elephant has just stampede in
and both bodies have hit the door with a massive bang!!

 The door flies open it sounds like a herd but they are only two boys A 10 year old and an 8 year old. Oblivious to me standing there they are fighting about who "ditched" who on the way home.
Yelling over the top of each other, its who's gunna dob on who....
oh oh there goes the tranquility the squealing has started they both frantically push
through the door trying to be first to the remote!!!

I hope they know as much as I love being here for them. How despite knowing how fortunate I am, I feel lonely here by myself some days. I hope later if they feel like we could have given them more
They know how we have tried to do the right thing for them.
I still guilty I feel as I still wonder if they are missing out on things they should have.

"Mum MUM guess what Gus has got a new xbox 360"
ironically Connor says to me as he whips of his shoes and socks.

" oh goodo I say and...how bout a thankyou for the lovely afternoon tea"
I say pointing out strawberries biscuits and milk
and  he grins cheekily 
" thank you"
he says as he runs past me 
attempting to rub his dirty sock in my face!!!!
oh crud
Mr 14 has just walked
now the three ring circus really begins!!!
oh crap more irony this just came on the radio ...maybe theres the answer
seriously this just came on... too  tooo spooky!
Awesome song though!

Good Charlotte- 1979
( the year I started primary school! LOL)


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