Monday, March 7, 2011

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY EVER LAUGHING SON....



IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME AND DON'T WISH TO KNOW GOREY DETAILS ABOUT ME OR JUST DONT HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO SPARE TODAY...
BE WARNED... DON'T READ ON!
or just look at the pictures and dont read this post for the article! LOL


Nine weeks after one of my best friends died we realised my mother in law Jacqueline had safely made it to heaven and was already working her influence when unexpectedly I found I was pregnant! Not overly impressed at first I came around and eventually saw the blessing it was. The whole family had gone from their grief and started to focus on the future and the upcoming new arrival.

I had a perfect pregnancy. We moved into a bigger brighter home in loftus had lovely neighbours and were happy and excited. Daniel who was about 3 would tell people down the street about how his brother had and umbilical chord and that he was growing fatter everyday cause it feed him what mum ate....and that the baby loved water ice blocks apparently! The only thing I craved early in the pregnancy! He even drew detailed pictures of mummy with the balloon in her tummy growing a baby attached to the umbilical chord attached to a placenta yep he was well prepared! LOL We both imagined he'd be so gentle with the new baby and we'd had endless chats about how he felt and what would happen when the new baby came home We were so glad he was going to be a bit older than most big brothers. He'd be such a great helper.

We arranged to deliver him in Temora the little country town hubby and I grew up in where all our family still lived. Hubby is in IT so he arranged to work out of the offices in Temora while he waited. The Sutherland hospital was huge and come delivery day it was pot luck who delivered your baby. I wanted to have total confidence in who was at the business end at that moment in time so we had shared care with the prenatal clinic at Sutherland an Dr Thatcher in Temora and just travelled down to Temora fr the big check ups.

I set up the cot and had the babies room all prepared in Sutherland. And with the "girl" stash of baby clothes well put away, I bought a few little yellow and orange jumpsuits then two weeks before he was due we headed of to nest in Temora at my Mum and Dads. Mum especially was soooo excited she hadn't been able to be a part of Daniel my eldest birth so this was extra special almost like a first all over again...especially in her excitement levels!


I wasn't particularly enamoured with our doctor, Dr Thatcher he was ex military and a grumpy bit scary thing with very little time for a bedside manner let alone the musings of female hormones. Despite this it was the reassurance of  continuity of care I was promised and had traveled back and forth for. Shortly after we settled in at mum s I went for a checkup and Dr Thatcher casually mentioned at the end of the appointment he was leaving to go on holidays for three weeks! A locum by the name of Dr Horsley would be taking over my care and deliver my baby! WHAT!

DR Horsely couldn't have been more opposite to Dr Thatcher. Tall thin Dr Thatcher with his dignified Superior aires and monotonal, reserved, absolutely NO fuss bedside manner, was a stark in contrast to Dr Horsley. Dr Horsley was a spectacularly loud, attentive, caring, happy, hulk of a man. He had mop of white hair a flushed red face and exactly like "Big KEV" he was always "excited".
We refered to him on more than one occasion as "BIG KEV" brother!


After brief pleasantries were exchanged at our first appointment he wanted to do an internal examination and that's when I noticed his also massive ..."man hands" to which he himself referred to and made some crass comment about first dates! I laugh then shudder to think about the experience to this day. Later as I arrived to be admitted into the hospital we witnessed repeatedly and unknowns to him, this huge man throwing his car keys into the air skipping across the car park to catch them! He did this across the entire length of the car park, Laughing out aloud to himself in his own happy world, on his way to his temporary accommodation in the old nurses wing of the hospital. Dave and I just looked at each other laughed NERVOUSLY then discussed the likelihood of a DR self medicating!

Due dates came and went. Although pretty bored I was kept in pretty good shape, being on occasion trained by my 18yr old brother...walking walking walking. Being waited on and pampered by mum, who was beginning to kill me with kindness as she grew ever more impatient! I had a rest in hospital for a couple days but  apart from my blood pressure going down to everyone grand disappointment nothing happened, and I came home.  Encouraged by some rather outrageous remedies suggested by the midwives were trying all manner of "interesting" ways to get this baby out. One I can mention, was courtesy of Uncle Jeff.

His idea, an incredibly bumpy drive through the bush in his ute. Did I say bush... I meant scrub! He's gone to the trouble to adjust the tyre pressure on the ute and specially selected a previously graded a back track, The track "a grade 3 track" through scrub on the outskirts of town and the tyre adjustment was arranged to maximise the bounce factor and get that nephew of his out quicker! Desperate and strangely "touched" as I was almost a week over due now I agreed to give it a go ... ahhh yep "rough as guts" is the term I may have used to describe the 50 minute bone rattling shake a thon! Jeff had a grin from ear to ear so sure his mission would be successful and he'd be granted superhero status.  Alas, it resulted in nothing apart from the imminent threat of revisiting the counter lunch I had stupidly just finished before the "drive".

A couple days later I awoke next to little Daniel with a fright in a... wet bed! I instantly panicked and I called out to mum . I remember thinking, I felt okay... normal enough, this isn't at all what I expected . Daniel had been induced in hospital so I was very uncomfortable with the whole spontaneous combustion idea but I needn't have worried mum came in took one look at the bed complete with sleeping toddler and declared grumpily and disappointingly... an obvious false alarm... Daniel had wet the bed!!! LOL EWWW on me!!! Okayeee too much info but hellish funny in retrospect!

I was officially 7 days overdue and visited DR Horsley I think I may have made reference to performing "a home Cesarean with a rusty pocket knife ...." Laughing ( YEP...again!) he decided to, with his giant man hands affect some encouragement.  We all decided it was indeed, another lazy boy who needed some inducement to arrive. I was admitted To Temora Base hospital to be induced first thing the next day. I handled that idea disconnected from any fear, unmoved by emotion like a stoic soldier, alert, eager and ready to go into battle. Finally ... there would be a result! I was sooo over the waiting and gigantic waistline!

The morning came without event the midwives hooked me up to a belt like baby heart rate monitoring device and the relaxed and jovial DR Horsley bounded loudly into the room. I wont go into detail sufficed to say Proglastin gel induction and man hands! Nurses by my side Dr Horsley explained if I was lucky I may experience some "heat, warmth and tightening" in approximately an hour. No sooner were the words out of his mouth and monitoring needles graphing the labours progress went crazy of the chart as I convinced him I was INDEED having an earth shattering contraction. After telling me that wasn't possible the midwife pointed out the graph and he...laughed! The midwives held me down still for the next contraction . Dr made some flippant comment about a continuing slow process, turned to the nurse told a rude joke and bellowed a big hearty laugh. To this day, I am sure through the haze of pain, I saw him smack her on the buttocks!!!  Before disappearing out the door announcing he'd be back about 4 pm to see how labour was progressing. The nurses left to walk him out, telling me not to worry and promising they'd be back in 10 minutes.


Hmmmm... 20 minutes later I was on all fours in the bottom of a shower recess, vomiting, in full on labour! Pressing that emergency bell like there was no tomorrow! At some stage shortly after they got me back to bed Hubby turned up and a comment was made something about surprisingly and quick and they told me in between contractions I should think about making my way to the labour ward. Unable to communicate, focused on the task ahead, and forgetting anything that resembled dignity the next pause in contractions I streaked down the hall in nothing but my tshirts with shocked giggling midwives chasing me with sheets to try and cover my bits! Apart from sucking  a whole tank of oxygen down in what seemed 30 minutes (pressing it so hard to my face the next day I had faint bruising) the labour was uneventful. My wonderful midwife Chris was bemused at my "efficiency" as she called it and thought shes better make a phone call to the DR! ( NO KIDDING!) To which I rasped.. this wasn't an induction it was an eviction and that he wouldn't make it! 5 minutes later nurses rushed around realising I was right the change of shift came in to watch too!


Dr Horsley arrived and watched on as midwife Chris Carmicheal delivered Connor. There was a flurry of sheets and activity as they placed  the slippery baby on my chest. Everyone was laughing, chatting and congratulation's were buzzing round the room the sunlit room. So much had gone  badly through Daniels birth I hadn't been able to hold him those first moments and he was in a humdicrib for the whole next day. I was expecting a tiny 7lb olive skinned dark haired duplicate to land on me and here in front of  me was the most gorgeous robustly healthy, big pink, blond headed, baby. He was a pound and half heavier than his tiny brother, we couldn't believe it. Dave and I gazed into each others eyes and all he could say repeatedly through his tears was "hes beautiful ...Marc just beautiful!" He was beaming with pride,excited greeting people, turning to shaking every ones hands and exclaim how amazing his baby was.

Then it happened ..."the moment" for me, as I looked at this messy little boys baby face, sunlight was streaming in through the skylights, and his tiny right eyelid opened just a bit just a crack.  
Then that one blue eye opened! His pupil dilated, he screwed up his face, he squinted his eye,
blinked a couple times, then... looked straight at me...
straight into... my soul. I was besotted!
I knew he was going to be remarkable and he hasn't proved me wrong yet!!!



Grandma had been whipping herself up into a frenzy endlessly occupying herself with pumping us for baby names for weeks. Daniel had been peering over her shoulder as she made short list of names we all liked. We on the other hand I think had been driving her a little mad relaxed and not to fussed about names.  We knew we had changed our mind instantly when we saw Daniel as to what his name would be. A name just came to us that fit him so that's what we thought would happen. Grandmas list was the longest I vaguely remember having Callum and I had previously been pushing Issac/Izaak as I am into meanings of names and it was Hebrew meaning "He laughtheth, happy from birth" and given our previous  bereavement I thought it was fitting. The coming of this baby had helped us to begin to heal and  already shown us all how to laugh and be happy. I guess I never really put it like that to Dave but he was definitely not a fan when I suggested the name.  So as per routine, after he was born a "baby smith" card was filled out and placed on his crib and he was taken to be bathed, while hubby went to make the necessary phone calls. 



Dave and I met back in the room where we had a little bit of time to absorb the events but didn't discuss anything other than how amazing and lucky we had been. Then my mum, Dad and little Daniel arrived everyone had a cuddle, photographs were taken and it was just a lovely  in time as everyone enjoyed the moment. Daniel  nursed the baby and then ran excitedly around announcing his new big brother status. We had cups of tea and shortbread bickies Daniel called breaker biscuits as you could spilt them down a manufactured line that ran down the the biscuit. Grandma announced it was time to go shortly after we got an overly excited Daniel off  the hospital crib he had climbed up to feed the baby a half of his breaker biscuit. We reached him just as the biscuit touched  the babies lips. A bit shocked we all breathed a sigh and bid each other farewell.

I honestly cant remember how much time went past or in which order the next events took place but I think the flowers came first with Congratulations David and Marcy on the safe arrival of baby Connor.  Baby what? He was just baby Smith at that stage. Then when we had a phone call to to congratulate us and they called the baby Connor and explained that they had heard the news from a checkout girl at woollies who knew mum and that our older son had been through her check out on the way home
from the hospital and had said the babies name was Connor.
Everyone was adamant it s was a lovely name it was so we kept it.  LOL

As a newborn people often remarked about how quiet he and blissfully contented he was. About how he never cried but it really wasn't till later as he grew into a toddler and his happy, giggly, never fussy almost perfect nature came to receive constant comment it occurred to me he really should have been an Isaak. So that how the baby who's birth was swaddled in laughter and  bought his family so much healing joy should have probably been called Isaak became Connor. Even now he gets called "a joy to have in his class room by his teachers" and frequently gets compliments from the people he meets and his friends parents.

Happy Birthday presents and phone calls this morning.

 Right up to this day... his 10th birthday 
I can say Connor is on the whole a carefree, popular,, cheeky grinning, 
ever laughing, gorgeous presence in our lives!




Two footnotes :

1) One Connor hopes to get an all clear on arm which he broke just bellow the shoulder this week 8 weeks on he tells me "its all I want for my birthday!" So fingers crossed!

2) Oh and readers you may have notice the passage where  these inexperienced parents
"Imagined"an older child of three and half  I say Daniel would "  be so gentle with the new baby and we'd had endless chats about how he felt and what would happen when the new baby came home We were so glad he was going to be a bit older than most big brothers. He'd be such a great helper." I feel the need to clarify that point .... its crud ...sheer lunacy... we are still waiting on this development !!!
Shortly after "the shortbread biscuit incident", there was the "newborns finger in the pencil sharpener incident" Then we got Connor home and there was "the cotton buds up the nostril playing DR incident" and the "sit on the play gym over the baby and get him to lick your dirty feet incident", the  "see how far you can fling the baby in the old fashion springy bouncenette incident" and ...
well, that was just the first couple months...no one ever said parenting would be easy...

 I shan't go on ..."
sufficed to say Connor was the best experimental toy
we ever bought home for sweet inquisitive budding scientist, Daniel.
He loved him dearly then, almost to death and still  does on a regular basis.
PLEASE DON'T ASK ME HOW CONNOR BROKE HIS ARM?!!! LOL.

I just didn't want to mislead anyone going through their second pregnancy! LOL

yep, oh and  there was alittle jealousy also we weren't counting on too...






oh and did I happen to mention this is me writing Connors Birth story.... for the first time!
It's only taken...10 years! PMSL

:)


 


3 comments:

Kim said...

and what a story......

Lille Diane said...

You are a hoot!! This was a great story & I will always have the visual in my mind of you streaking to the delivery room! Too dang funny, girl! You tell a great story, and made me smile reflecting on my own two births. We are blessed, aren't we, Marcia? Love you~

my2angels said...

love the way this is written ... had me smiling and some laughing all the way through it ... you have reminded me to get writing on DD birth, have done my DS, thankfully though DD was only 5 hours as for DS around 23 hours but that changes depending on what mood I am with him at the time but I NEVER forget to tell him what an effort it wasto get a 10.5 pound baby out is!!!!!!!!!!!